Of absence and college and stress

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.


Well, actually, I hope it’s not bullshit because it appears that the last time I was here to post anything was back in November. I don’t even remember November but I live in New England so I’m sure it was just full of complaints about the cold.

Now it’s August here in New England where we complain about the heat.

New Englanders are never ever happy.

So, what’s been going on?

When I last left you, we were in the middle of doing college applications for my daughter and I was stressing out about it big time.

Since then, she has graduated high school, been accepted to 7 colleges and has finally settled on the University of New Hampshire. There she will major in Biology while the rest of us at home decide what colors and what pinball games to get for her old room which will now be called “FunLand.” My daughter is pissed because she said she will need her room when she comes home on breaks but that’s why couches were invented.

She moves into the college in about a month but typically hates people in general so I guess we will see how that lasts. Seriously. She has zero empathy for any human being but I once heard her say that she toasts the end pieces of a loaf of bread because she feels bad for it.

We all expect her to quit, be home and working in retail by October.

Good times.

We have gotten college financing and everything all set which means that we have entered the part of our lives called “Perpetual Debt” because I have three more left to put through college so someone please kill me and/or send me money.

My wife has said I cannot start a GoFundMe account just to get money which seems like a perfectly good waste of a site where you can get free money. Maybe that’s just me.

We are also headed to Florida for a week in August because what better time to visit the Sunshine State than when the temperature is greater than the surface of the sun. My wife also said we are not allowed to complain about the heat because it was a majority vote. I swear to God that woman is ruining all of my fun about anything.

But she’s super hot and has a great bum so I’ll deal.

As news breaks or as things get less bizarre around here I will do my best to keep you entertained and updated as possible.

As always, you can check me out via the Twitter and Facebook links up above and – as always – thank you in advance for buying my books.

Back soon! And thanks for sticking around!