Press

Here is where you can find everything you need to help make me famous. Book covers, press kits, you name it.

Romantic As Hell

Me: My ears are blocked with this sinus infection. [4 kids run by, screaming yet muted] Me: [throws out remaining antibiotics]

I’m yelling at the television during preseason football as a warmup to yelling at the television during regular season football.

I had a pretty productive day at work. Let's never ever do that again.

College Bookstore: Your daughter's total for first semester books comes to $774. Me [to daughter]: You know it's not too late to be a landscaper.

Me: It’s National Relaxation Day Kids: haha yeah ok

My dog was super-interested in another dog across the street but the dog completely ignored his attention and I’ve never felt a closer bond with him.

My wife may have a torn meniscus so I'm doing my due diligence in researching it: pic.twitter.com/GSmcBl1243

Two weeks before I turn 50 and I just dozed off before 8 PM so my aging is right on schedule.